The healing power of having fun

When I was deep in the trenches of binge eating, fun wasn’t exactly high on my priority list. It felt like the kind of luxury I could only let myself have once I’d finally “fixed” myself. Pleasure, joy, relaxation—those seemed like distant prizes I needed to earn, somehow, by first getting my binge eating under control.

Maybe, for you too, bingeing feels like the roadblock standing between you and the life you imagine—a life where laughter comes easily, days feel spacious, and your mind isn’t constantly battling urges and guilt.

But what if inviting a little fun back into your life isn’t just okay, but actually essential to the healing process?

Bingeing isn’t just about avoiding pain

When I was bingeing, I’d often look at my calendar and feel a sense of heaviness. Wall-to-wall blocked time, deadlines looming, endless emails. Other times, my life was nothing but diapers and dishes, responsibilities stacked so high I could hardly breathe.

My bingeing wasn’t only a reaction to stress—it was also a desperate attempt to inject a tiny bit of fun into my life.

If it feels ok to ask yourself, “Why am I bingeing?” you may notice, as I did, answers like these bubbling up:

To feel something good, even for a moment.
To have something that’s just for me.
To finally, for once, relax.

For me, here’s what was really going on: The part of me that binged was trying to help me take a break. It was forcing a pause, a moment of relief, because I wouldn’t let myself stop any other way.

Could it be that the part of you that binges is trying to help you, too? Perhaps in this way, or in another

Your bingeing part is worth hearing out

Bingeing parts often track and protect against exhaustion and depletion. But they’re often misunderstood to only be a bingeing part that keeps getting in the way.

Few approaches invite the open heartedness that is able to distinguish the action of the bingeing from the intention of the bingeing.

Often hardworking, responsible parts push you relentlessly, beyond your limits. Your bingeing part sees this and tries, in the only way it knows how, to help you take a breath, to have something pleasurable, even if only briefly.

But here’s the thing: neither side ends up happy. The responsible part pushes harder, feeling like bingeing sets you back. The bingeing part, desperate for relief, pushes harder too. They’re stuck in a relentless deadlock.

There is another way.

Small moments of fun can change a lot

I invite you to consider gently negotiating with your hardworking parts. See if they’re open to an experiment—even just once this week:

A 10-minute walk with a friend.
A short pause to watch the clouds drift by.
Fifteen minutes of guilt-free pleasure reading, not another self-help book.

At first, your diligent parts might balk: “What’s this about? Fun?! Aren’t we supposed to be healing bingeing here?”

Yes, we are.

And having moments of genuine joy, connection, and rest might be precisely what eases the pressure that drives bingeing. Joy, fun, pleasure—they’re not indulgent or frivolous. They’re healing.

How to gently invite pleasure in

If this feels strange or uncomfortable, I hear you. So often, we believe we must delay joy until we’ve “earned” it. But joy doesn’t need a reason. You don’t have to earn pleasure or prove you’re worthy of rest.

Start small. Try scheduling something enjoyable this week, something tiny, manageable, something just for you:

Call a friend just to laugh.
Read something purely for fun.
Watch the goofy movie your kid’s been begging you to see. (My son has me lined up for the Minecraft Movie. Rumor has it, when the baby zombie rides the chicken, the audience goes crazy!)

Then notice how your parts respond:

Does your bingeing part feel less pressure to intervene?
Do your responsible parts find that life feels easier, lighter?
Does the urge to binge soften, even slightly?

This isn’t about distraction—it’s about communicating to all your parts that joy is allowed, that fun can coexist with recovery.

Healing doesn’t have to be hard work

The beauty of this approach is in its gentleness.

You’re not forcing parts of you to stop behaviors or embrace harsh rules. Instead, you’re offering them a different, kinder experience. You’re showing them firsthand that life doesn’t have to be all struggle, that relief and joy can arrive without guilt or shame.

What your bingeing part has been trying to share all along is this:

Life isn’t waiting on the other side of bingeing. Something that matters needs your attention right here, right now.

And sometimes that thing is joy.

Healing rarely comes crashing in. Instead, it often whispers, nudges, gently arriving in small moments—like a quiet walk, a shared joke, a deep breath beneath a summer sky.

So, if your parts are open to it, consider what tiny threads of joy you could weave into your days. Healing isn’t about waiting. It’s about allowing. And fun, laughter, and simple pleasure can quietly lead the way home.

In Episode 83 of The Done Bingeing Podcast, I explore how adding moments of pleasure and play into our days can quietly begin to heal the underlying reasons we binge. Listen in by clicking here! I’ve tucked a couple of chuckles in the episode just for you!
And if you’d love to have someone help you heal binge eating and have some fun along the way, click here and get on my calendar for a complimentary consult today.

Do you have anything you want me write about that would help you with your eating? Please send me your questions, ideas, and reflections!

Recovering from binge eating can be so much easier with a guide by your side. Interested in private coaching with a Master Coach who's Level-3 trained in the evidence-based, SAMHSA-recognized Internal Family Systems approach? If the answer is yes, then get on my schedule for a free, 30-minute consultation! You'll be so glad you did!